A Loser?

Today I was talking to James (a friend from church) after Korean class about how much I hate going to the gym, and why. He addressed the spiritual aspects of my discouragement. He left me thinking.

You don't have to scratch far below the surface with me to hit a rock-solid core of despair and futility. I headed downstairs to wait for everybody else as they took the elevator down. I thought about that unshakable core of despair and futility. At first I thought that it made sense. What have I made a success of? My son hates me. My daughter is holding on by her fingernails. I haven't had a romantic prospect in nearly a decade. And here I am, in Korea because I can't get a job back home.

Then it struck me. I couldn't get a job back home. Okay. That happens. The economy is slow and my family settled in a particularly depressed area (How appropriate!) where jobs are scant even when times are good. I couldn't get a job back home.

I didn't settle into burger-flipping or go on welfare. I came to Korea. Just this past year I went on a mission trip to China, went on a tour of Mongolia, and spearheaded a successful drive to sponsor a well for a village. Not a bad year for a "loser".