2017년 10월 21일 토요일

How the Koreans Might Hear the North Korea Polka

I took Weird Al's magnificent "North Korea Polka" and Google translated it into Korean and back. Let's just say it loses some nuances but perhaps picks up others.



"The North Korea Polka (Please Don't Nuke Us)"

Would you annihilate us if you had the chance?
That's such an antisocial thing to do
You've got us crapping our collective pants
May I suggest you take it down a notch or two

We're not exactly sure why you're upset
Did that Seth Rogen movie make you super mad?
You'd like us if you got to know us i bet
We're mostly harmless decent people
hey we're really not so bad
My point is!
Please don't nuke us North Korea
Right now we're all a little tense
Believe me!
We don't hate you
Frankly we don't even think that much about you
no offense

Now you might call us "bloodthirsty dogs"
But that metaphor's not very apt
Were just a bunch of simple fidget-spinning goofy dorks
Who probably couldn't find your country on a map

No we're not savages or cannibals
Well maybe just a really really really small percent
So I think it would be best
if you'd knock off those missile tests
Don't turn us into cinder
while we're swiping right on Tinder
Don't jump start Armageddon
or our beds will soon be wetter
Won't you think this through for a moment please
Now why would you bomb our nice celebrities?
Oh why in the world would you kill Tom Hanks?
Cause nobody doesn't like Tom Hanks!

So!
Please don't nuke us North Korea
That would seriously ruin our day
Remember!
We're not evil psychotic monsters
No matter what the news may say
We're just those goofballs from the U.S.A!
(Please don't nuke us)
(Please don't nuke us)
(Please don't nuke us)
Hey!
"North Polka (Please do not bother us)"

Would you kill us if we had a chance?
Doing so is an antisocial behavior.
You are drinking our collective pants.
Could you suggest a one or two scaling down?

We do not know exactly why you are angry.
Did Seth Rogen make you angry?
If you know our bet you want us.
We are mostly innocent people.
Hey, we are not so bad.
My point is!
Please do not tempt us to North Korea.
I'm a little nervous right now.
Trust me!
We do not hate you.
To be honest, we do not think so much about you
or attack you.

We may now call us "bloodthirsty dogs."
But the metaphor is not very appropriate.
Was it just a bunch of sparkling dorks?
Maybe you could not find your country on the map

We are neither barbarians nor cannibals.
Perhaps it's actually a very small percentage.
So it would be best
if you knocked out the missile test.
Do not make us synthesizers
while we swipe right from the tinder.
Armageddon
or our bed should not start getting wet soon.
Do not you think about this for a while?
Why would we make our great performers into bombs?
Why would you kill Tom Hanks in the world?
Because nobody likes Tom Hanks!

so!
Please do not tempt us to North Korea.
It will ruin our times seriously.
Think about it!
We are not evil psychopaths.
Whatever the news is
We are American idiots!
(Please do not calm us down)
(Please do not calm us down)
(Please do not calm us down)
Hey!

2017년 10월 9일 월요일

Thriller via Google Translate

Taking "Thriller" into Hausa and back via Google Translate:

It is near midnight
An evil thing is worried about the dark
Under the sun
You see a look that almost stops your heart
You are trying to cry
But terrorism takes the sound before you do it
You're getting freeze
Just as panic looks at you between your eyes
You're lying

'Do this very happy
Night thriller
And no one can save you
From the animal about hitting
You know he's worried
Night thriller
You're fighting for your life
In the execution
Thriller tonight, so

Listen to the doorbell
And realize that there is no way to run
You feel cool
And wonder if you can see the sun
You close your eyes
And the skin that this just imagined
Girl but always
You hear a creature move in the past
You do not have time

'Make this sad, important night
There is no second opportunity for the item with forty eyes, girl
Thriller, nightmare
You are fighting for your life in death, great today

(Vincent Price spoken part)
The Creator of the night calls
And the dead began to walk in their contents
No one has escaped foreign sanctions at this time
They are open
This is the end of your life

(Back to MJ)
They want to drive you out, there are demons covered on every side
They will control you, unless you change the code on your call
Now is the time for you and me to play together, too
All night
I will save you from terrorism on the screen, I will let you see

This is a sad and proud night
'So I can make you happier than any guy can never try
Thriller, nightmare
So let me hold you
And share a killer, thriller, chiller
Thriller here tonight
'So this is a wonderful, sweet thing at night
Girl I can make you happier than any guy can never try
Thriller, nightmare
So let me hold you
And share a killer, thriller
I'll be happy with you tonight

(Back to Vincent Price)
Darkness covers the land
Midnight is near
Creative things have resulted in blood transfusions
To scare y'all in your neighborhood
And whoever is found
Without a spirit to get less
He had to stand up to the hounds of hell
And he is pregnant in the body of a dead person

2017년 10월 5일 목요일

Willie Nelson Meets Google Translate

"On The Road Again" translated into Kurdish and back:
Go on
Only one can stop running again
Whatever I love, I love music with my friends
And I can not go back again
Go on
In the places I have not come
See the things I've never seen again
And I can not go back again
On the road
As we go on a hiking band, we go to the road
We are the best friends of the world
When the world transfers us
And our way
It's on the go
Only one can stop running again
The life I love to make music with my friends
And I can not go back again

Into Hausa and back:
In the course too
Just can not wait to get back the track again
The life I want to play is with my friends
And I can not wait to go back the road anymore
In the course too
Running places I've never been
Looking at what I can see
And I can not wait to go back the road anymore
The course also -
As a group of gypsies we have fallen down the road
We are the best friend
Make sure the world turns our way
And our way
It's on the way
Just can not wait to get back the track again
The life I want is music 'music with my friends
And I can not wait to go back the road anymore

Taking it into Hawaiian and back gets you some interesting lyrics:
On the street
It is impossible to wait to get back on the street
The life that I love is the work of singing with my friends
I can not wait to go back the street
On the street
The places where I was mad
Strengthening my abilities
I can not wait to go back the street
On the road -
Like the guy gypsies we walk the trail
We are good friends
Inhibiting the global search of the whole world
And our way
It is on the way
It is impossible to wait to get back on the street
The life that I love most is' singing with friends
I can not wait to go back the street

"Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" into Samoan and back:

In the daylight I see them
Blue tears of tears in the rain
When we kissed thanks and divided it
I knew we were no longer meeting

Love is like a weakness
Only thoughts remain permanent
I will remember it in generations
Blue tears of tears in the rain

Some days when we meet above
We will turn our hands around again
Inside a land it is not underestimated
The cold of the eyes cries in the rain

My hair is turned into silver
Throughout my life I was free
I can see his star in heaven
Blue tears of tears in the rain

 Taking "Crazy" into Frisian and back:
I'm mad. Revenge for the feeling that is so lonely.
I'm mad. Leave the feeling so blue
I know you love when you want
Then leave me one for a new one
Care. Why let me deal with it
I want to do something in the world?
Crazy for thinking that my love could keep you
I'm crazy to weep.
I'm crazy to try.
I'm crazy to learn you.
Into Vietnamese and back:

I'm crazy. Crazy for feeling lonely.
I'm crazy. Crazy because the feeling is too green
I know you will love me as long as you want
Then, one day let me give somebody a new one
Worry. Why do I let myself worry
Ask yourself how in the world?
Crazy for thinking that my love can hold you
I'm crazy because of crying.
I'm crazy trying.
I'm crazy for love you.

And perhaps my favorite, that old standby Hawaiian:

I was wrong. Want to be thinking.
I was wrong. There is a rage for blue feeling
I have the strength to love you whenever you want
One day I will leave something new
Be afraid. Why I'm leaving myself
Do I worry about the world's work?
It's a joy to think you can love it
I'm not crying.
I want to try.
I want to love you.




2017년 9월 23일 토요일

Google Translate Tackles Famous Opening Sentences!

"It is true in all the world that believes, that a man who understands the good should be unmarried." -- Pride and Prejudice in Yoruba

"It was fun burning." -- Farenheit 451 in Vietnamese

"There was a boy of extinct Clarence Screw, and he almost deserved it." -- The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in Urdu

"Gregor Samsa made himself a tremendous bug in his bed when he awoke one morning from a sleepy dream." -- Metamorphasis in Turkish

"Happy families are all the same, every unhappy family rejoices in its own way." --Anna Karenina in Tamil

"It was cold in April this year, and stones were horrible." -- 1984 in Tajik

"I'm an unbearable man." -- The Invisible Man in Somali

"You do not know me without Tom Caller's The Adventures, but it's none of it." -- Adventures of Huckleberry Finn in Sinhala

"Joseph K. was killed for one morning, no one was wronged, arrested." --The Trial in Sindhi

"If you want to hear about it, it may be the first thing you want to know where I was born, and how my children were young, and how my parents were involved and Everyone before I had them, and all things I use David Copperfield's crap, but I do not feel that I'll be going in, if you want to know the truth. " -- The Catcher in the Rye in Scots Gaelic

"Whether I will close the hero of my own life, or at any station, these pages should be seen." -- David Copperfield in Nepali

"Love is the first sight." -- Catch-22 in Maori

"" Where the Pope goes by that ax? "Said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast." -- Charlotte's Web in Maltese

"All children, except indefinitely." -- Peter Pan in Latin

"Alice began to sit in front of her sister underneath the river, and nothing has been done, or at least once she had been studying her own sister's book, but in such a way she did not want to talk, Use the Book Book ', Alice noted,' Without any photo or speech? '" -- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland in Kurdish

"Mr. Jones of Manor Farm locked the hen house at night, but he was too drunk to close the popcorn." -- Animal Farm in Korean

"Marli has died and must start!" -- A Christmas Carol in Kazakh

"At present, there is no record." -- Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency in Hawaiian

"Another place in La Mancha, in a place where I did not know what I was thinking about, did not live long ago, one of the young and old on a gorgeous and full of greyhound experience. to racing. " -- Don Quixote in Hausa

"Elm's Gantry was drunk." -- Elmer Gantry in Bengali

"Emma Woola, beautiful, smart, rich, impoverished, and happy, brings some life, and has had to worry or argue over the world for twenty-one years." -- Emma in Amharic



2016년 1월 5일 화요일

Designed for Sale: Buster Keaton Playing Cards

I designed a deck of cards for sale by the International Buster Keaton Society. The project required a lot of Pixlr work.

All of the gold frames were created from a single picture of a heart-shaped frame.

Composite -- hands from one shot, face from another.
I also had to expand the table downward and the wall upward.


The shot cut off the top of Roscoe's cap.
I pasted the top on the hat and expanded the wallpaper upward.

The screenshot was in very bad shape and needed a lot of cleanup.

Cluttered background photoshopped out.


Photoshopping

Slack-time boredom first led me to learn PhotoShop when I was working at the Denton Publishing Company. Photoshopping became an official part of my job when the main Photoshop employee developed carpal tunnel syndrome and was under doctor's orders to limit her use of the mouse. When she needed a break, we'd switch work stations and I would be the one to adjust colors and modify art to satisfy our advertising customers' needs.

Though I can't afford PhotoShop for my personal use, I discovered Pixlr and have enjoyed myself immensely with it. Thus, for your enjoyment and mine, an assortment of my projects.

Cracked.com contest entry: If everything came with online reviews

Combining three kids' best photos into one
Turn-random-stuff-into-album-cover challenge

Experimenting with isolated color

Bottle label Photoshopped as inside joke








2013년 12월 25일 수요일

Animated GIFS

I created this assortment for an assortment of reasons. I don't own the original images but I still think they're fun.

First, from Hyperbole and a Half:

Allie smashing into the box in "The God of Cake"

 
Allie eating face cream from the book

 
Mine! All Mine! From "The God of Cake"

 
Two different GIFs of The Simple Dog stuck in a loop, from "Wild Animal: The Simple Dog Goes for a Joy Ride"


 
Now a selection from the various Toy Story movies:
 
Toy Story 3: Big Baby crying
 
Toy Story: Etch drawing a gun
 
Toy Story: Toy soldier recon mission

 
Two from Spongebob
Mrs. Puff breaking rocks
 
 
Sandy karate chopping a salami